“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” -- Frederick Douglass
September.
It means many things. My birthday. Football season. The end of summer.
This year, more than any before, the end of summer is unequivocally uninvited. I remember previous Septembers when I couldn’t wait for a crisp fall evening, the turning of the leaves, and hot apple cider by the fire. I can’t remember a September when I’ve dreaded those very things like I do now.
Not that the crisp evenings, fall colors, and hot cider will go unappreciated this year, but the season they preclude looms more ominously as it draws ever nearer. I abhor winter. And that’s putting it mildly. While a gentle dusk snowfall as I sit atop a deer stand is a wonderful, almost spiritual experience, the fact that dusk falls before 5:00 for three months out of the year is a depressing, soul-wrenching reality. As someone who hopes one day to make drama the central part of his livelihood, I assure you, my disdain for the dark months hovering around the final solstice of the year is not at all exaggerated here.
But I’ve hated the darkness of winter as long as I can remember. Why does it feel worse this year? Is it because summer seemed shortchanged this year with nary a single 90-degree day in July? We had several in August, but still… Is it because my wife and I haven’t slept a night through since our new little bundle arrived at the end of June? Technically, I’ve had more waking hours this summer than probably any before which should render it a longer summer…
Or is it because 2009, the year I vowed to make it in Hollywood, is now two-thirds of the way over? With my promise in January to plant myself firmly in the entertainment industry in order for my wife to retire far from fulfilled, perhaps it’s the realization that I may, in fact, fail to meet that standard set before me.
Or maybe it’s just that winter really, really sucks.
2 comments:
The winter does suck. That's around the time I typically get depressed too, but I have a feeling this year won't be nearly as bad.
But hang in there my friend...it's a time of big change for you, it's totally natural to feel down.
As far as Hollywood is concerned, you're gonna make it man...just you wait. You got the talent, the drive an the heart. And when you feel like giving up, I am going to lovingly kick you and make you keep going :)
When you feel down keep this verse close to your heart..."For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
Love ya like a brotha.
An excellent verse I have repeated many times over the years. But when it comes to the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), God is not shy of reminding me where my struggles lie - patience and faithfulness!
I'm faithful God has a bright future planned for me, but the present sometimes feels a little dim. It's not a matter of 'if' I'll make it, it's a matter of 'when'. God knows 'when' but that doggone patience tastes bitter to me! ;)
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