It

“When people talk, listen completely.  Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway

When Rima Greer talks, I listen.  She’s been agenting longer than I’ve been driving.  In 25 years she has yet to sign a screenwriter who wasn’t referred to her by an industry professional.  Gulp.

Without an insider’s track, it is essential to be extra cognizant of the traits for which literary agents are looking.  As mentioned last entry, being good is first and foremost, but it’s not enough.

According to Ms. Greer, 99.9% of the time, a writer is hired because he or she is good in a room, not necessarily because he or she is compellingly better than the other writers up for the job.  You have to be good, of course, but if you reach the stage of potential employment as a scriptwriter, it’s already understood you’re good.  So you’d better be charming.  You better listen well.  You’d better have charisma (a word that will come up in future entries).

You also need to understand people and situations.  As The Gambler himself stated, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em; know when to fold ‘em; know when to walk away; and know when to run.”  Put another way, you need to know when to talk and when to shut up.  I know, I know – I’m working on that one.  I’m working on all the intangibles.

Truth is, I think I meet the requirements outlined by Ms. Greer.  If I didn’t think this way, I’d be wasting a lot time, effort, and money, not to mention jeopardizing my future and my family’s financial security.  Like so many others, I’m just waiting for that one phone call, that one connection, that one moment when the stars align and the carrot is finally mine.  Waiting?  No, pursuing.

In my three or so years of off-and-on querying, only three times has a full screenplay of mine been requested, leaving my batting average right around .023.  One request led to an option and another led to a dialog back and forth with a couple rewrites in between before both sides mutually agreed our directions for the project were out of sync.  By those statistics, I’m actually batting quite well.

But I’ve sent out over a hundred letters, made close to as many phone calls, and sent seven singing telegrams.  Okay, no telegrams.  Good thing, too, because Ms. Greer makes it clear that nobody in Hollywood appreciates gimmicks or brownnosing.  Ass-kissing?  Totally different story.

And I’ll keep sending queries, keep making phone calls, maybe make a trip or two to LA in the coming months.  All for a chance to prove to somebody that I have it.

But who am I to think I’ve got it?  I don’t know.  But if I harbor any doubt, then I don’t have what it takes to survive in Hollywood.  Bring on the sharks!