"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." -- Ralph Waldo EmersonTalk is cheap. It usually serves as a replacement for achievement. Over the years I've found the bigger the talk, the smaller the walk. In so many arenas.
For the purpose of this blog, the talk/walk relationship will be narrowed to the entertainment industry, and specifically for this entry, my place within it. I've talked enough - time to walk through the last several years of this journey.
Acting is and always will be my first love in this industry. I don't recall a cathartic moment when the venom of the acting bug really took hold inside of me, but I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't want to act forever. Well, until junior high school I probably wanted to be a professional football player, but what growing boy doesn't share that first dream?
Growing up in a small Minnesota town hours from any metro area, the opportunities to act were as plentiful as heat waves in January. Sure, I did plays at school and church, but I wanted to be on Family Ties. I made one or two trips to Minneapolis, auditioned for a Pop Tarts commercial or two, met with a talent agent, and duped myself into believing I was on my way. Aside from the support of one dear friend and her family, I was on an island.
So I went to college as a computer science major. A career in the computer field seemed just a bit more realistic than a starring role on the next Cheers spinoff. When I realized companionship from a blinking cursor was no match for human amity, I grabbed onto a business major. For a semester. But I couldn't fight the urge any longer, so I joined the theater department, officially ending any chance I had of later trying to walk-on to the football team. I was now a theater dork. For less than a semester.
Practicality again trumped happiness, and I made my last Major change to Elementary Education. The promise of indissoluble job opportunities for a male elementary teacher was too sensible to pass up. I scratched my athletics itch by walking onto the track team and getting coaching endorsements while tearing up the intramural fields and courts. I was finally content. I would become a teacher for a few years, then work my way up the coaching ranks. Acting? It felt good to finally squelch that childish dream.
After a year or two of filling the crater with boulders, the volcano hadn't gone dormant, but had actually pressurized. Either the volcano would blow, or I would.
I was now teaching in the Twin Cities area where exists abundant opportunities to get on stage or in front of a camera. On a whim, I went to an audition for an independent feature. Two callbacks later and some ridiculous compliments from the woman director (I look like James Dean in certain lighting? Really?), I didn't get the part. But finishing runner up for my first real audition wasn't too bad, I reasoned, so I looked into classes and found an agent.
Fast forward seven or so years and I've acted in about 50 movies, shorts, commercials, and industrials. I've made a little money along the way, met a bunch of wonderful people, and learned a lot about myself. But overall I am still dispirited with my career progression. The dominant forces in Hollywood are generally getting younger and younger. Look at the biggest stars out there right now. Many of them aren't even old enough to vote! Here I am, on the downhill side of 30, still trying to reach a level of success that can at least buy groceries on a consistent basis.
So, just in case the acting gig doesn't reach a desired culmination, I've thrown some other irons into the fire. But I think I may have reached the sensible entry limit for today, so I'll expound upon said irons later. Oh joy.
