So you're telling me there's a chance...

"Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than helping nurture talent to do the best they can in the audition process." - Casting Director, Lisa London, from her book, From Start to Stardom

Last week I auditioned for a television show and the casting director took a phone call in the middle of my audition. Seriously.

Needless to say, I figured my chances of booking the role were pretty slim. And yet... like Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey), I always hold out optimism no matter how stacked the odds seem against me.

That's the attitude anybody going into this crazy business has to have. I've written about odds and statistics many times. The older I get, the more stacked against me the odds become.

But I know there's still a chance. And that's what keeps me going. Whether it's one in a hundred, one in a million, or, to borrow my 4-year-old's expression, one in infinity and beyond, I know there's still a chance.

Casting Directors like Lisa London also keep me going. In a town where obstacles can appear insurmountable, Lisa reminds me that many are fighting to help us achieve our dreams.

Visit fromstarttostardom.com to order the book
and find even more great acting resources!

With a long list of casting credits that includes Roseanne, Hannah Montana, Adam Sandler's Sandy Wexler, and a handful of projects currently in pre-production, Ms. London certainly has the experience to validate the advice she gives in her amazing book, From Start to Stardom: The Casting Director's Guide for Aspiring Actors.

At my advanced age - and with nearly 20 years of professional acting experience - I shouldn't still be labelled aspiring, but until I'm fully supporting my family on paychecks from acting jobs, that's exactly what I am. And, really, no matter what stage one is at in a career, one should always aspire to learn and become better equipped for further success.

For those just getting started as actors, I can't recommend From Start to Stardom enough. This is, honestly, the best beginner's guide to the acting business I've ever read... and I've read a ton of books on the subject. This is a must-read for aspiring actors of any age and parents of aspiring actors.

Lisa's approach is so uplifting and positive that it's easy to get lost in the glamour of becoming a star in Hollywood. When she writes about casting Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana, Miley's first professional acting gig, it's easy to get lost in the dream and put oneself in the shoes of Billy Ray's daughter. But Lisa also reminds us just how miraculous it is to be "the one" for any role in any project.

Lisa London, CSA

What Lisa does so well in From Start to Stardom is break down the steps necessary for finding success. She provides sample resumes, offers headshot advice, explains how to get discovered, and uncovers the best ways to land an agent and/or manager. Then she tackles the next stages of a career by offering audition tips and explaining what goes on behind the casting director's door. The book even includes legal information for minors working in show business as well as a ton of resources for everything from the Screen Actors Guild to websites that list auditions to Los Angeles studio locations. The teacher in me is giddy with the comprehensiveness of Lisa London's book!

Again, this is a must-own book for beginning actors, but any actor, regardless of their career level, will benefit from these 166 pages. One paragraph in particular was just what I needed to read, and it came at it exactly the right time. With permission, I've included the paragraph here:

"Another killer of opportunities and creator of bad attitudes is self-invalidation. What is self-invalidation? It is making less of yourself, putting yourself down, focusing on your faults, thinking you are no good and that you will never meet your goals. This is something that will kill you as an actor or an artist. Sometimes, these ideas that you are no good, these negative thoughts, are things that you have heard from others. For example, you have a relative or friend who thinks you will never make it as an actor. You can't let your family's difficulties or lack of success become your problem. You must keep your dreams separate and not give up based on someone else's failures." (p. 107)

Man. I love these words. I need these words. Can you feel me? Leave a comment and let me know how these words make you feel.

Now, the flip-side to all of this is the harsh reality that more actors fail in this business than succeed. Look at me. While many would love to be in dozens of commercials, star in a bunch of independent features, have leading roles on cable shows, or an appearance on the number one television drama in the world, my bar is set at a level that I haven't even come close to reaching. At what point does common sense walk in and slap me across the face and convince me the bar is unattainable?

With apologies to some, the answer is, never.

This is my gift. I didn't ask for it, but here it is. I'm constantly asking God to be specific in how He wants me to use this gift. So far, I have to assume I've been on the right track. Only time will tell if my expectations align with His, but the path, I feel, has been the correct one for me; for my immediate family; for those with whom God wants me to interact.

Like most actors, I'm currently somewhere between start and stardom, and while I don't know if I'll ever reach the stardom end, I know if I'm persistent, I will be successful. That's what this business comes down to -- persistence. Dreams need not expire.

For those who desire a career in the movie business, specifically as an actor, get Lisa London's From Start to Stardom. Focus more on the start than the stardom and see what happens. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

I'm telling you there's a chance.

Visit http://fromstarttostardom.com to buy the book and learn more about the acting business!

Why am I still here?

"Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." - Proverbs 3:6 (NLT)

Man, I prayed hard the last several months, begging God to tell us whether to stay in California or move back to Minnesota. Actually, I didn't limit the prayer to familiar geography as I just pleaded for direction to find work anywhere. Atlanta? Alaska? Albequer... Albaquer... Alabama?

And which path did He tell me to take?

Seriously, if anyone heard Him, please tell me, because I missed it.

According to the Proverbs verse above, He should have shown me which path to take. Right?

"Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take."

Am I not living up to my end of that bargain?

I mean, technically, I'm probably not seeking God's will in all I do. That's a tall order, don't you think? Am I naive to think I can wipe my butt according to my own will? I have a method I favor, after all.

Butt wiping aside, of course I fail daily in seeking His will. It's not His will for my I'm-mad-cuz-you-did-something-stupid face to make appearances on the highway. It's not His will for me to pout when I continue to have doors closed on me in this town. And I'm pretty sure it's generally not God's will for me to envy those who've accomplished by age 20 more than I've done at age 30 (plus a decade or so).

But on the whole (not a wiping pun), I am seeking God's will. I truly want to do whatever He wants me to do. Whatever that is. Wherever that is.

The tricky part in my life is this dream I haven't been able to lose or fulfill. Does my seeking of God's will get hijacked by this Hollywood dream? Is the dream God's will for me or is it His will for me to give up the dream? Chasing it this long without receiving the success for which I'd hoped could certainly imply God prefers I focus my attention elsewhere.

The Hollywood dream is huge to me, but it's anything but huge to God.

What's huge to God is that I'm actively living His will no matter what I'm doing, where I'm doing it, or with whom I'm doing it.

My first year in Los Angeles has yielded only five principal acting roles, none of which were of the high-paying ilk. Most of my time on set has been as a background actor. An extra. An out of focus piece of meat there to give the illusion that Meredith Grey works in a real hospital.

But what's cool about background work is that I meet new people on every job. I have had abundant opportunities to share God's love with strangers and new acquaintances and friends. I've earned the reputation on multiple sets of being "the nice guy." I can live with that. To me, being a nice guy is the first step in sharing the Gospel. Sometimes it's the only step God needs me to take.

I don't wear religion on my sleeve. I try to wear love on my sleeve. Maybe that's why God has me here. Not to shove scripture down people's throats, but to live my faith and be an example of what God's love can do. Not to have success as an actor, but to be a servant who relies on charm and good-looks... um... charm and... um... well, not being a douchebag.

It's amazing how many expert extras there are here in Hollywood. I've become an expert nodder-and-smiler. Sometimes that's all you can do while the "expert" in the room explains that this is the first background work he's done in ages because it's the first day he hasn't had a principal audition in six months.

I don't preach the gospel to them. But I try to show them love. By giving them space. And finding a different corner of the holding room to hang out in.

But seriously, aside from the obvious attention seekers, I've met great people that I've hopefully impacted in a positive way. I feel like that's God's will for me right now. Be a nice guy, show love, and don't be a douchebag.

Theologically speaking, I know being a "nice guy" isn't the end-all, be-all of what we are called to do.  I've met plenty of nice atheists, after all. I'm just simplifying here so I don't ramble.

No, I'm not rambling. This isn't rambling. Rambling is when... oh... never mind.

So why am I still here? To be a nice guy on set? To plant seeds in others so they seek God? I can do all that in Minnesota. We should have moved back to Minnesota. It's cheaper. Family is there. It's more familiar. And there are plenty who need to be loved there, too.

God didn't tell me to stay in California. But He didn't tell me to move back to Minnesota. He remained largely silent, which leads me to believe He didn't care so much about where I was, but who I am. More specifically, whose I am.

I am His.

And He is not going to abandon me. We are scheduled to run out of money in a couple months. All our money. Literally. As perpetual planners and safety-net-employers, this is scary for us. Yet, God is bigger than all of this. I trust Him. No matter where we end up after Halloween, I trust God knows what's best for us.

But ya wanna know something exciting? I do believe success is just around the corner. It may seem contradictory to what I mentioned above, but I believe I'm supposed to be right where I am right now. Not because God needs me here more than He needs me elsewhere, but because I've been faithful in seeking His will and He desires to bless me with my heart's desire.

It makes sense. My heart's desire doesn't contradict scripture. It doesn't defame God. The desire isn't a pipe dream that I'm not qualified to achieve. It's my God-given gift.

It's also the right of anyone reading this to disagree with me. Go ahead. But mark my words: My dreams are coming true.

"Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart's desires." - Psalm 37:4 (NLT)

He's a good God. And that's why I'm still here.

What others say about me

"What you say about yourself matters very little, but what others say of you means the world."
-- Hugh Halter, from his book, Flesh

I don't sleep well. On a good night, I'm asleep within an hour of going to bed. If I wake in the middle of the night, I'm usually a couple dozen tosses and turns from my next dream. During the day, I can close my eyes, but rarely do I get past the "whoa, did I just doze off?" stage of slumber.

Why? Is it too much caffeine? Too much sugar? Too much excitement in my life?

Um. No.

It's because I can't shut my stubborn brain off. My thought control skills are on pace with Johnny Manziel's common sense skills. Below remedial.

If I'm not navigating creative waters, I'm treading the depths of self-doubt, God-doubt, and why-did-I-eat-so-much-ice-cream-doubt.

One prevailing narrative is the questioning of my value. Regardless of what Clarence taught George Bailey, I still find myself sinking into questions about my purpose.

On a micro level I know my kids need me. I believe my wife needs me. Still, it's hard not to consider the life my wife could have had with a more successful husband. A more stable husband. Someone who accepted his role in the blue collar world or maybe white collar world. There's nobility in working hard to bring home a paycheck.

But that's the thing. Man am I working hard. So hard that I'm getting burned out.

"I'm so busy" is a phrase that's thrown out almost as much as "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

More? Yeah, probably more.

I don't expect everyone reading this to believe me when I say I'm working my tail off. After all, what do I have to show for it? I should share my tax returns here to really humiliate myself. By my calculations I've made about $0.27 an hour over the last 10 years. I made that number up. I'm too busy to calculate it for realz.

We're a results oriented society and the results just haven't been there for me. My family has suffered because of this. My ego has suffered because of this (which is technically a good thing, I know). And there are times I lie awake wondering if the worst is still ahead.

But the question prevails.

Why?

Why have I been allowed to work so hard for so long and not see the results I'd expected -- dare I say -- deserved?

I don't know. This silly little blog that I started before blogging was "in" (I think blogging is actually "out" now thanks to SnapChatteragram or whatevs) was supposed to be an inspirational account of one man's journey of overcoming the odds to prove that dreams really can come true.

If you didn't read that last line in your best movie trailer voice, here's another chance...

One man's journey of overcoming the odds to prove that dreams really can come true.

The late, great, Don LaFontaine,
king of movie trailer voiceovers (born in Minnesota!)

I've developed a counter theory to all of this now. I don't know if it's any truer than the former, but it's something I'm gnawing over. In the middle of the night.

What if my story is the anti-dream-following story? Despite Joel Osteen's claims, not everybody gets everything they want if they just believe it to be true. Maybe God needs me as an example that safety is sometimes the best route. Maybe my story is supposed to inspire in a way that contradicts my original intention.

If that's my reality, all I want is for people to say is that in spite of adversity, I am a hard worker. A good father. A worthy husband. A faithful servant.

Of course, that's all I want people to say about me regardless.

But the hard worker part is particularly sensitive to me these days. Really, I'm starting to question if the work I'm doing is useful. All the hours of research, networking, and creating -- are (were) they all worth it?

If I give up my Hollywood dream, I don't care if people assume it was because I wasn't talented enough. What I do care about is if people think it's because I didn't work hard enough for it. They'd be wrong on both accounts, but there's a sense of pride in hard work done well. I feel I've done that. And that's the example I want to give to my kids, my family, my friends, and anyone with whom I interact.

I don't know why God has me on the path He has me on, but I so desperately want to be an inspiration to everyone around me. Yes, I have an everybody-must-like-me complex, but my people-pleasing curse isn't driving my concern of what others say. It's simply that I want to be a positive influence. Not for my sake, but for the sake of the greater good.

But what does it matter what I say? What matters is what others say about me. Am I giving others reason to call me a hard worker? A good father? A worthy husband? A faithful servant? Regardless of whether I make it in Hollywood or not, at this point, all I care about is representing my faith in a pleasing manner to God.

And, really... is Hugh Halter's quote accurate? Does it matter what others say about me? Well, on a macro level, no. What matters is whether I am pleasing God. Where Halter's quote comes into play is that if we are pleasing God, by default, others will say good things about us.